i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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