all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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