Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
