every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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