My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Randomize
