im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
