so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
