it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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