You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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