Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Quick, to the slutcave!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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