We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
