You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
