how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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