after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I am naked and annoyed.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
