she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
