I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
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I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
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The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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