I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
