wanna go halves on a baby?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
