She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
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All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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