So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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