Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
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How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
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Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.