did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.