she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
my poor anus
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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