He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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