yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
