What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
