I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Randomize
