Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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