you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
