battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
