Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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