I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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