so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
