The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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