the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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