dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
