do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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