Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
