oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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