What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
