Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize