This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
