Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize