He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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