im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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