I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
