Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
