im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
BRING THE BAGELS
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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