question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
