I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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