I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Can I color on your dick again?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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