What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
