is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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