i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
