roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
