? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
