i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I love you. Go after that dick
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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