Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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