last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
