I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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