from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
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