Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
