I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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